he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
it's like heaven, but drunker
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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