yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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