Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
