Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
