HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize