Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
my god I love twenty year old dicks
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
