How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
