I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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