No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
