with your own penis?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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