This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
