she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Princesses don't give blow jobs
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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