it's like iHOP with fire
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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