i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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