I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
