pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
This is my gift to your gina
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
