How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
