nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize