im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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