why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
