Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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