yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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