Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
