I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Non-Jews are for practice
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
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