You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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