It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
