you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
