White coat. Heels.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
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