idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
