Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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