Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize