That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
