hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
