therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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