i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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