I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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