ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
