He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
