I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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