Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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