Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize