Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
