i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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