its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
