I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
