Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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