I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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