I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It's rum buckets o'clock
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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