I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
