break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize