I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
