he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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