i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
