im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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