It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Will exercising make me less horny?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize