You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
