If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
