My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
