"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
