Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
We're like a lot better than the average bears
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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