He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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