lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
we have officially lost it.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
